Internet Dating Disaster #3

Then there was Dane, also from Continental Europe. I thought if I’m going to dip my toe into the Internet Dating pool again, I am going to get it right this time. So, lots of emails and instant messages exchanged prior to meeting.

Dane had received a number of photos from me, and I had at least two from him. My first thought was that he had a nice friendly face. As I got to know him, he confided that he was conscious about his weight, now I like a man with a bit to hold on to! His tummy was of particular concern; he figured he looked about 5-months pregnant! Who am I to judge? I’m no supermodel!!

We had to rearranged our first date a few times...each time I felt strangely glad it was cancelled and wondered was my heart actually in this. The fact my friend Emma felt a colleague of hers dated Dane too hadn’t helped...the reports weren’t good. Emma’s ex-colleague was off travelling and not available for clarification, the few details Emma could remember were eventually to be proved correct.

We eventually arranged for Sunday brunch; the brat, that morning text to suggest a restaurant right on his door step! A place I was very familiar with, as an old flame lived in the complex; not for love or money was I risking a first date there!! Also on principle if a man is keen to meet you he should make an effort and at least come half way, and that’s exactly what I made him do! I suggested a rendez vous at a traditional Dublin meeting spot, the ‘tart with the cart’ - the Molly Malone statue - at the bottom of Grafton Street...as I crossed the street from Trinity College I spotted him in the distance...my first thought was ‘a 5-month pregnancy tummy?!’...more like 10-months with twins! Harsh I know, but you should have seen it!

In hindsight, I wished I had turned on my heels and walked away, which wouldn’t be my style and something I have never done. As I approached him, I greeted him with a very chirpy ‘Hello’; he looked at me as if I resembled dirt on his shoe. At this stage I really wished I had turned on my heels! He looked a state, was my next thought and when he eventually uttered something I realised he hadn’t a tooth in his head, literally! I winced with disgust. I won’t inflict you with the details of the most boring, painful date in history, with the tightest man in history; to make a long story short, I endured brunch, paid my share and made my excuses about needing to be somewhere. He walked me down Grafton Street and conversation was like pulling teeth, excuse the pun. I said my goodbyes at M&S, said it was lovely to meet him before I disappeared into the shop. I rung my friend Lisa and briefed her on the painful experience.

The next morning I was awoken by a text saying, ‘Good morning Gorgeous, hope you have a lovely day!’ I thought, is this man for real?! What part of the date did he think went well? I was onto Lisa before I even got to the office...she suggested an appropriate text message that gave him no doubts I wasn’t interested. It was nice but to the point. I wish I had it now, one or two of you out there may find it of use for the future!!

To say that will be my very last internet date is an understatement!!!


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