Dating American Style

What do we think of dating American style? Dating numerous men at once! I have a friend who has recently come out of a long-term relationship and is now dating American style. She is currently juggling 4 men, having great fun whilst doing it but finding it exhausting keeping tabs on the conversations she has had with each of them. She isn't getting tripped up as they are located in different parks of the country, plus I should highlight when you 'American Date' it's no further than 'first base'! Could I do it? Jeez it's hard enough to find one decent guy in his mid thirties in Dublin to date let alone two. Whilst Internet dating however, I did have the pleasure and girls it's a whole new experience, it's liberating, as you're in control, and if you don't get a call back from date one, you always have a few more up your sleeve! I would recommend each of you to try it at least once, the american dating, you all know my views on internet dating.
Take note of the feeling, the old feeling of uncertainty when dating doesn't exist, and your the one with the power, for once you don't feel it always has to be a man's world! If you have tried it, want to hear your experiences...

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Sharing a bed with a platonic male friend - a no, no?!

Another interesting debate that took place the other evening was, 'would you trust your guy sharing a bed with a platonic female friend'?

I have done it on a couple of occasions I regularly offer my mbf a bed on a Saturday night but he always cheekily says he wouldn't trust himself, I promise I'd slap him so hard he wouldn't attempt it a second time. I have a good male friend who lives in Germany he regularly visits on the last occasion he stayed his gf who is 8 yrs his junior was screaming down the phone demanding to know the sleeping arrangements!

Is it maturity? Is it trust in a relationship? Or should it be an out and out no, no...as to quote one of the gals 'human nature is guaranteed to step in'!

Let me hear your thoughts...

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Who is stronger in a relationship?

In a conversation over a Pinot the other night the gals and I debated who was stronger in a relationship, that is, who wears the trousers? The conversation developed from, how we singletons lose friends to their other halves...the girls tend to socialise with their bfs and
other couples, whilst male friends seem to vanish into thin air! Their new gfs seem to lack self-confidence and find a very platonic friendship, which may be decades old, threatening! If I hadn't chosen to jump him in the last ten years, why would I now that he's happily attached? What makes women feel so threatened? I'd love to see 'me' thru their eyes; do they see some little sex kitten purring over their man? I promise reality couldn't be further from that image. An
example: a good friend's gf was taking a few months off travelling; the trip was planned prior to their meeting. I told her I'd ‘keep an eye out for him’, make sure he wasn't dying of loneliness ...her retort was 'over my dead body'! They are now married and he has cut all contact... I find it saddening to lose a friendship due to unfounded jealousy of a partner. We all know who wears the trousers in that relationship.

One of my friends mentioned every time she catches up with her childhood mbf he brings his gf along with him. That would frustrate the hell out of me, my mbfs are my confidants; they know my every secret and I trust them wholeheartedly for those secrets to remain so, not being able to share a heart to heart with them in person with a gf present... Well to be honest the heart to hearts would never happen. I have two mbfs who share their email account with their wives! You could imagine my horror when emailing my childhood friend who lived in Australia, on what I believed was a personal email address about personal family stuff and his wife replying.

I firmly believe there should be no secrets in a relationship but is this, a step too far?


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Are the insecurities of some ruining it for the rest of us?

For years I have felt men's expectations on the first encounter are far too high. It's rare on a night out to meet a guy for the first time who doesn't suggest taking you home. There's no getting to know you first, no wining and dining, they just want to get straight down to business. I have asked myself a thousand times, what is giving them the confidence or the god given right to think they can expect 'it' on the first night?!

Last night I got chatting to a beautiful young girl who was waiting on her date, whilst he was looking for his jacket.

In a conversation that could have lasted no more than 5 minutes she apologised for her distracted attention, as she 'kept' a firm eye on the man that she had just met. She told me she didn't trust the other women, hanging around in the bar. She considered them vultures and they would attempt anything to get their claws into her man! His coat hadn't turned up; she offered to drive him in the following morning, to pick it up; confirming she was taking him home. A man she feared no more than two minutes previous would walk away with any woman.

What makes a beautiful, intelligent young woman with an amazing figure and beautifully turned out want to take a guy home like that when in my view, she could have any guy, who would treat her right! Why does she need to take him home in an attempt to keep him?

Are 'easy' women ruining it for the rest of us? Giving a girl who seems to have it all, feel she has to pull out all the stops to reel a man in? Are they giving men high expectations, which in turn are used as a bargaining tool with us, who won’t ‘put out’ on the first night?

Food for thought…

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