Internet Dating Disaster #1

Let’s call this guy Paul! Paul caught my attention in a very novel way by writing a poem. We exchanged great emails, and I have to admit I looked forward to opening my inbox.

In my view there are many disadvantages to Internet dating, one being all the excitement built up prior to meeting…generated from the initial contact, the excitement for each communication that you end up going to bed at night wondering could this be Mr Right! Expectations built up and when he doesn’t turn up on your first date in a full suit of armour, riding his noble steed, the disappointment is unbearable.

Sorry, I’m digressing. Paul’s emails were entertaining; he claimed mine were a breath of fresh air! He told me about a girl he had met online; she had made an innocent comment about grammar to him, which I gather was blown out of proportion. She was to become known as “grammar girl”! He had given me the impression she was in the past. That’s another disadvantage of Internet dating…you might be flirting online with just him; whilst he’s juggling a few girls at a time.

There was only one friend Emma that I confided in about these Internet dates. I didn’t want too many people to know. A few years ago, Internet dating was somewhat frowned upon but it was paramount that someone knew where I was and whom I was meeting for safety’s sake. Emma too had dipped her toe in a bit of Internet and speed dating and we regularly compared notes.

First date was arranged with Paul for Sunday evening. Emma happened to call on the Saturday and I confided in her about my date. All excited I spilled my guts about my new knight in shining armour, the poem he had written and how I had envisaged him. As I was rambling away, I could hear little giggles down the phone…when I asked what Emma was laughing at she informed me that she too had encountered Paul, he had also written her a poem and she had a date lined up with him for the following week. My little heart sank I was devastated!

We were both shocked about how small a world it was (if you continue reading these posts you’ll discover the world gets smaller). As she was chatting about her experiences with him, I suddenly realised that she was “Grammar Girl”! We made a pack that we wouldn’t tell him of the coincidence.

I went ahead with the date but my heart was no longer in it, I felt “my” Paul had evaporated into thin air.

I walked into the designated venue; there he stood inside the door with a bouquet of red roses and a gift bag! I was in awe; no one had given me red roses in a decade. Within the gift bag were three pairs of shoes and a tiara, the play type you give to a 5-year old for dress up. I’m a shoeaholic, I had mentioned that in passing in some email. It was so cute; I was really flattered.

As the date proceeded, I picked up a strong feminine vibe from Paul, his mannerisms etc., strangely enough it was like he started reading my mind by telling me his female colleagues often made gay remarks to him and he spent the night winging about them.

Not attractive in a woman, less attractive in a man. The date started to become tedious; a respectable hour to say goodnight couldn’t come around quick enough. He was enjoying himself, desperately trying to get me to stay for “one more 7up”, but thankfully being a school night I had a great excuse. He walked me to my car and I said goodnight. I don’t even remember kissing him on the cheek.

I told Emma I would reserve all comments until after she met him. It was only fair but I had said he wasn’t for me.

Emma arranged to meet Paul at a coffee shop in town; she was on time, she walked around the shop a few times but couldn’t see him. She stood outside for 20 minutes and rang me to say he was a no show. She gave it one last try and sure enough there he was sitting in the corner all the time looking at her. Needless to say that went down like a lead balloon. Paul and Emma didn’t have a second date.

I didn’t hear from Paul for months until I got a text late one evening asking ‘where was I?’ I mentioned, I was out with the girls, and he replied say ‘he was at home in bed and I was to come over…’ leaving very little to the imagination!! Needless to say he didn’t get a reply!



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