I was out on Saturday night with my gal pals; we were in the home of our favourite Powder Room. There were five of us, enjoying the banter and each other’s company; when out of nowhere came a swarm of men!
Luscious Lisa reported the swarm approaching…with a ‘well hello ladies, what have we here’, as I turned around I saw five married men. The first place I looked wasn’t their face, but their left-hand. When I reported so, it wasn’t something Lisa had noticed, but as I surveyed the girls 60% of us said, it would be the first thing they would look for.
They swarmed around and came in for the attack; Lisa was their first victim. Within a few minutes I realised something was missing…a few wedding rings! In fairness to some of them, they were just up for the craic; all clean fun, and they were genuine nice guys, who like us, enjoyed the banter. However, one cheeky chap despite his pal saying he was married with 3 kids denied all knowledge of them. He had a silver band suspiciously looking like a wedding ring on his right hand. As he was asking for my friend’s number, he faked insult when I challenged him on the fact.
Why do men do this? I regularly have this conversation with one of my MBFs who I regularly go for a drink with. He is content in a relationship but that doesn’t stop him putting the charm on the ladies when we are out. He’s an attractive man, and I can see the charm being spread on smoothly…the girl always confirms my status, i.e. making sure I’m not his girlfriend. I regularly give him an ear bashing; saying he’s leading them on and it’s false advertising, as he’s not available for a relationship. Not only that, I think it’s incredibly disrespectful to his lovely girlfriend.
When I was in my early 20's, and I’d get into a conversation with a guy who promptly said he was attached, I use to immaturely translate it as ‘arrogance’ but now with wisdom in my years I appreciate a guy saying that. At least, you can enjoy the conversation for what it is, a pleasant conversation. Unlike some of my friends I don’t believe he’s ‘wasting my time’, I find talking to new people interesting, figuring out how they ‘tick’ fascinating and you always learn something new from each conversation. I love hearing a man’s version of how he met his other half and I love to hear how a man describes his better half…it teaches you a lot about the person. Try it sometime, you’ll see what I mean.
The false advertising however, I do not appreciate. It’s leading us single girls on. I have been a victim of it myself. I think last summer I had three brats in a row. One coincidently lived in my neighbourhood and as I wasn’t drinking that night, I offered him a lift home. We spent an hour talking in the bar and 5 hours talking whilst sitting in my car. A good foundation for the start of something, don’t you think? Getting out of the car he informed me he was ‘unreliable’! Unreliable? What has that got to do with meeting for a coffee? I later discovered he was attached and living with his partner.
Maybe we should start a movement of getting our attached male friends to promptly admit they are attached when they are out; as for our married friends…
Welding the wedding band onto their finger a bit extreme?
Comments can be sent privately to powderroomtales@gmail.com
What's the Powder Room?
- Powder Room Tales...by Amber Black
- These are the deep and meaningful conversations every girl has with her best gal pals...about the guy who just winked at her across the bar, or the last man who broke her heart. These are the conversations we all love being part of and sharing over brunch or a good bottle of pinot or in the powder room of your favourite Saturday night venue...our Powder Room is located at the top of a lofty stair in Kehoe's Bar, Dublin. These conversations are real...names have been changed to protect privacy and avoid shameful blushes (",) I hope you enjoy!!!
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Amber, I totally agree..... why do men hide the fact that they are attached, fear that us ladies won't want to speak with them if a shiny band is facing us.... sure we are all out for a good social time and what's to tell them that we are not in a loving relationship (i.e. in the absence of a sparkler!). Being married myself, I still find it interesting talking to men (married, engaged, single or otherwise), they are still the opposite sex and as you say you do learn a lot from them with regards to relationships and how they tick.... some times you actually find out you know them in some way or know of them through a friend ... afterall if we didn't talk to those attached, it would be a very boring single world with the desperate out searching for their perfect match.... it's through friends that we make new friends and even partners so ladies listen up... get talking, if a ring on the finger don't stop yourself getting into conversation with the man, just don't allow yourself to get carried away thinking more will become of it or ignore his love status because that spells trouble if you allow it...... Men talk to the ladies and be true and honest, show and share your availability and be frank, we don't want liers or fraudsters, the real and ugly truth always shows in the end so spare us the heartache and show your true colours!!!! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts .....
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