For years I have felt men's expectations on the first encounter are far too high. It's rare on a night out to meet a guy for the first time who doesn't suggest taking you home. There's no getting to know you first, no wining and dining, they just want to get straight down to business. I have asked myself a thousand times, what is giving them the confidence or the god given right to think they can expect 'it' on the first night?!
Last night I got chatting to a beautiful young girl who was waiting on her date, whilst he was looking for his jacket.
In a conversation that could have lasted no more than 5 minutes she apologised for her distracted attention, as she 'kept' a firm eye on the man that she had just met. She told me she didn't trust the other women, hanging around in the bar. She considered them vultures and they would attempt anything to get their claws into her man! His coat hadn't turned up; she offered to drive him in the following morning, to pick it up; confirming she was taking him home. A man she feared no more than two minutes previous would walk away with any woman.
What makes a beautiful, intelligent young woman with an amazing figure and beautifully turned out want to take a guy home like that when in my view, she could have any guy, who would treat her right! Why does she need to take him home in an attempt to keep him?
Are 'easy' women ruining it for the rest of us? Giving a girl who seems to have it all, feel she has to pull out all the stops to reel a man in? Are they giving men high expectations, which in turn are used as a bargaining tool with us, who won’t ‘put out’ on the first night?
Food for thought…
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What's the Powder Room?
- Powder Room Tales...by Amber Black
- These are the deep and meaningful conversations every girl has with her best gal pals...about the guy who just winked at her across the bar, or the last man who broke her heart. These are the conversations we all love being part of and sharing over brunch or a good bottle of pinot or in the powder room of your favourite Saturday night venue...our Powder Room is located at the top of a lofty stair in Kehoe's Bar, Dublin. These conversations are real...names have been changed to protect privacy and avoid shameful blushes (",) I hope you enjoy!!!
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Oooh Amber, you sound like you'r living in 1950's Ireland! 'Easy' women?! those days have gone. Don't get me wrong, I completely agree with you on not putting out on the first night (in general ;o)) but I think calling people who do easy is not only outdated, its judgemental. AND Have you got rose coloured specs on in relation to men? Blaming women for men wanting sex on the first date is akin to saying a girl who were's a mini-skirt is asking to be sexually assaulted. Men are men. They always want sex and will always, always try whenever, whereever. That is their nature...heat seaking missiles and that is NOT womens fault its just fact.
ReplyDeleteOne night stands work for some people and it can work if thats all you want yourself. If however, you are ready for and looking for a relationship its definitely better to not go home with them on the first night as you want to build a relationship before you add sex into the equation because lets face it lust can be a very blinding emotion.
Back to the the girl in your post, it is a perplexing thing to see women persisting with a man they feel this insecure about. From the outside its as clear as day that she should finish with that man and hold out for one she is secure with. From the girls point of view tho, she is crazy about him and can't bear the thoughts of being without him. It is a case of letting emotions get the better of her. And as unromantic as it sounds you sometimes have to take a cold hard look at a relationship and ask yourself "well what am I getting out of it?" a good relationship will make you feel secure.
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